NEW YORK – Today General Motors announced the 2016 Chevrolet Amphibian (abbreviated Amp), a new four door hatch back built specifically for export to oil-producing nations.
Designed to leapfrog all other cars on the road today, the new hatchback from Chevy has truly astonishing performance figures. In the hands of an enlightened commuter, the sleek-looking Amphibian is able do 240 mpg and can travel more than 2,160 miles on a single 9 gallon tank of normal gasoline. This gives the Amp the largest range and lowest cost per mile of any car on the road today!
As its name suggests, the Amp is not just a city slicker. Built Chevy Tough, the Amphibian can frolic from the frozen mud and snow of a Yukon ice road to the bog roads of Alberta to the searing beaches of Saudi Arabia.
How did GM do it?
After a bit of behind-the-scenes prodding the author uncovered the Amphibian’s incredible secret. In true overachiever fashion, GM has embraced oil sands extraction technology by going one step further.
The 2016 Chevy Amphibian has a miniature gasoline refinery packed into the car itself. If plugged into a normal 120-volt household outlet overnight, the Amphibian can produce and store a gallon of gasoline. This gas is produced using less than a $1 worth of electricity by sucking the background pollution right out of the air in your garage. This reclaimed gasoline is then stored in a special sealed container in the car separate from its regular nine-gallon gas tank.
That’s right, the Chevy Amphibian produces gasoline for only $1 per gallon using nothing more than electricity and the smog-filled air around you! This cuts the cost of that first gallon to one-quarter normal U.S. and Canadian pump prices and as an added benefit the air in your neighborhood gets cleaner every night the Amp is plugged in!
The EPA doesn’t really seem to know what to do with a car that both produces and consumes gasoline and its MPG rating reflects this confusion.
GM states that on the road the 2016 Amphibian will achieve an estimated EPA rating of 50 miles on the first gallon, 40 mpg after that. This is due to the higher quality gasoline created by the cars mini refinery. The gasoline produced by the onboard mini-refinery is so good it has zero exhaust emissions when burned and even allows the car to run silently! Each day, once the first gallon created by the Amphibian is used, it reverts to burning the gasoline sold at four times the price by the oil industry. To keep its R&D costs down GM has used same layout, bodywork and parts as its stablemate, the Chevy Volt.
If the driver takes just 10 seconds a day to plug in the car, the Amphibian’s MPG rating can soar. Utilizing the Amphibian’s incredible ability to create high quality gasoline, some early test drivers have reported augmenting a single tank of oil industry produced gasoline to a range of more than 5000 miles.
As for when the car will arrive, GM is only saying that U.S. and Canadian customers will see the car first in “the second half of 2015″ – which looks like it will be undergoing a traditional product cycle and we will be seeing the car around August.
Pricing as one would expect is also a mystery at the moment. However, GM has strongly hinted at a starting MSRP of less than $35,000 plus destination delivery cost, a price typical of a luxury hatchback of this size.
The Amp is expected to be a huge sales success in the U.S. and especially in Canada due to the tax incentives available to oil producers. Just like the larger oil companies, Canadian purchasers, who order a new Amphibian through a shell company in Alberta are eligible for a 100-percent tax deduction. Note: Assumes you follow industry standard accounting principles of back dating the transaction to 2010 and accelerated depreciating of the “production equipment” under the current Alberta well head Tax Incentive program. Similar incentives are available in other oil exporting nations. The Canadian tax deduction expires in 2017, so hurry and order your Amphibian today!